The walk to church was pleasant; at last we had a cool cloudy day. My cream-colored sweater was not quite warm enough, but I gloried in that fact- how I've hated the too-bright days in the high eighties.
So I entered the church with my bangs wild from the wind. It was surprisingly full, and not just with elderly people, though there were plenty of them. I sat on the other side of the church from where we usually sit, just for a change. Two older women behind me discussed the different priests who say daily Mass, remembering that it's Father Eddie who says Mass on Wednesdays.
A gentleman came out to the ambo to announce that Father Eddie is sick and cannot say Mass today. We would simply have a communion service. I was disappointed, but then convicted- I will receive communion today. My husband and I have been abstaining after I read that a couple who was married outside the Sacrament should not receive. But there was that conviction today.
The host was just a tiny sliver, but that is enough. It is just as much Him as anything. I felt very peaceful. I told Him how I missed Him, and was hoping what I had done was all right. I'm still not 100% convinced that it was, but there it is anyway. I told my husband this evening, and he agreed that we should go up to receive Him as we are led, individually, and not set a rule. I will obey this non-rule rule.
As nourishing as our farmer's market dinner tonight was, the little piece of consecrated bread I received this morning was infinitely more so. I remember my first communion (I was seven years old) how at the luncheon afterward I started talking to Jesus in my tummy. It was so very real to me, and I pray that it always will be, for it IS the Real Presence.
No comments:
Post a Comment