Silence the MPC in your life.

I can't remember where I read it, but I did read recently that humans are meant to exist in quietude, or even silence, for far longer periods in a day than we modern folk are currently doing. There are scientific studies and much written about the topic, though our present modern maladies- anxiety, for one- are enough for me to believe it. I know the Holy Scriptures teach that God is found in stillness, and in secret, in silence. 

I am so relieved right now to be in a quiet place. I am alone at home, and all I hear are birds singing, the whoosh of cars on the road nearby, and the hum of my furnace. It's not silence, but it's peaceful.

I know that Christians are called to cultivate an inner stillness by the grace of the Holy Spirit, but I am convinced that we also have the choice and responsibility to avoid noise pollution in our daily lives, to the extent that we have control. It's healing for our spiritual selves but also to our whole human system, especially the nerves. It's a serious issue with me; I've suffered from anxiety from the beginning. My mother tells me I was a fitful, tearful baby. My poor sister concurs, her early adolescence shot through with my shrieking and fussing, night and day. I contributed to noise pollution before I knew what it was!
Noise is not necessarily sound- it can be our own frantic thoughts, or it can be a lack of mindful quiet. It's the static of constant yet erratic motion, constant busyness, constant restlessness (here St. Augustine helps us with his famous line: "Our hearts are restless, O Lord, until they rest in you."). Noise can also be idle talk, idle occupation, a steady stream of useless information cluttering up the space of our minds and hearts. 

I am convinced that modern popular culture is the breeding ground for little ungodly noise-lets, seemingly harmless (as we've become accustomed to them as the background of our contemporary Western existence), to multiply and eat up our peace, our mental health, our spirituality. It's the devil's playground for certain. I don't care how that makes me sound. It's not a healthy place to be, but most of us are submerged in it. I speak of "modern popular culture" as an entity- MPC- partially because I'm too tired to explicate and categorize, but also because it really is all one big sham.
The whole shebang- TV, mass media, the big internet corporations, the big chain retailers, the mainstream entertainers, all of it is connected and it is collectively rotting our minds and robbing our souls of the quiet which we need to hear the voice of God and discover who we are in Him. 

Some people in difficult circumstances, through no fault of their own, can hardly find a moment's peace away from noise. But most of us have some control over it. I believe that it's not a cultural priority to break away from the noise-web. More likely, it's quite the opposite. I've had it with MPC, frankly. I want no part of it. I don't even feel like logging in to Facebook. I only check it periodically to see if our daughter's parents have updated her page with photos or a video. Other than her family-only page, Facebook is a headache waiting to happen. I grit my teeth whenever my husband turns on the television. Our agreement is that it is for soccer games and the occasional movie on Netflix. Thankfully, he doesn't do it often.

I love to hear the radio- I enjoy certain public radio shows, the jazz and classical stations, and Immaculate Heart Radio. But it's not something I like to have on just for background noise. Believe me, the less you tune in, the better you'll feel- I have less anxiety, more time to process my thoughts, and I am definitely more sensitive to disturbances which means I have more discipline in this regard. I have an easier time simply saying "No" to things that aren't needful, edifying, or appropriate for whatever reason. The clarity of mind that comes with increased periods of silence is like a calm, still pond in which all the pebbles, sand and weeds have settled to the bottom, there in plain sight for all to discern through the clear water. 

Increasing my time in silence has also increased my inclinations toward gentleness. I seek gentleness in the people around me, in the sounds around me, and I too desire to be gentle to match that sweetness found in God's presence, in the stillness. I don't mean to say I'm floating around like an angel on a cloud, but the edginess in my behavior and my demeanor has softened. I am far from perfect but I ardently desire the life of God which cannot be attained by participating in the clatter and clamor of MPC or any other common distraction.

In seeking God's life, I often catch myself thinking of the early Christians and of our mother Mary. Whenever I try to discern the value of any given modern thing or behavior, I imagine for a moment our Blessed Mother and the apostles taking part in it. If I absolutely can't envision that, forget it. It has no place in my life. It's a good thing to always say, "What Would Jesus Do?" but also helpful to compare ourselves to His earliest followers who were just like us, created by God. They were the first examples of Christianity to those who would believe without having seen. They are good models for us. I think it's a pretty helpful test, anyway. 

Read books. Read the Bible. Listen to wholesome and interesting radio. Take a walk, ride a bike. Look people in the eye. Be aware of your surroundings. Pray through all of it. Sure, you'll still see me on a train with my earbuds in, but I can almost guarantee it would be to listen to Catholic radio or classical music. Even that is something I'm still not convinced I should do and I try to lessen the times I do it. It's disheartening when I take my eyes off the little screen to find every other passenger staring into their own. Makes me glad I put the little bugger away for a minute. I digress.
Look for opportunities to cultivate silence and cut out the noise. You will be happier, and you will be open to God's little gems of grace.

The struggle

Put you on the armour of God, that you may be able to stand against the deceits of the devil. For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood; but against principalities and power, against the rulers of the world of this darkness, against the spirits of wickedness in the high places. -  Ephesians 6: 11-12 [Douay-Rheims Bible]

I can't for the life of me keep up with my own standards. I do a good job in standards of dress and behavior; I'm not wearing mini skirts and bustiers and going out on the town every night. But the little things are where the struggle is. I have a hard time with gentle speech, patience, and refraining from judging others. I also have a hard time being consistent in prayer, Mass attendance, and have miserably failed at my goal of saying the Rosary. My sins are often sins of omission: what I'm NOT doing, as opposed to what I am doing. I am terrible at getting my hands dirty for the Lord. I remain awfully self-concerned.

In a nutshell, I'm human. But that's not an excuse, it's a reason to remember the power of the Lord in my life, and His power against the attacks from you know who. Truly, this is an invisible fight, and to non-believers it doesn't even make sense. On my own, it's totally unwinnable. With the grace of God, I can win it for Him. 

It's funny; I started out with the intention of writing another rant post. I hadn't even figured out the subject of my rant, since I had more than a few niggling annoyances bouncing around in my head today. And it has just occurred to me as I type- if we just go about doing what are asked to do on a daily basis, God will supply us with little golden nugget opportunities to do His work. I very much felt that way at my job today; every hour or so I felt like this or that could only be the work of God. Not every day blesses us with so many nuggets as were produced for me today, but they are there if we have the senses open to detect them.

Seeing them helped me to recognize that God wants me at my job right now, even if I don't want to be there. I still hope to be a homemaker one day, and I sincerely hope that He wants me to come home as well. But I must accept the possibility that, thanks to a broken society, it may not happen and God will put me where I am needed instead. In a Judeo-Christian nation, I might have a better chance of coming home. Our nation is not. I don't care how many people insist upon it. Whatever our country was when it was founded, it is not so at this time.

Anyway, God is there when we are failing. I think I probably beat myself up over my failings more than He would. Who knows.  What I do know is that this struggle is going to be there, and it is going to be difficult. I will continue to fail in the little battles, but I pray that God will lead me in winning the war, which is the salvation of my soul. 

I hope that my little influence at my job can help save someone's soul. I am a piss-poor evangelizer. I take comfort in St. Francis' instruction to "preach the gospel; when necessary, use words." I talk my way into more paper bags than out of them, let's just say. Foot-in-mouth disease is another affliction I carry. So I wake up every day and do what I do. And hope that God can do something with it, and that I am doing what He wants, even in the little things.

A Word About Phone Calls

I'm feeling a bit ranty... Probably neither ladylike nor gentle, but here it is: I appreciate friends, but I don't appreciate a friend's constant calling on the phone. By constant, I mean by the standard of this day and age. Nearly every day, sometimes twice in a day, if I haven't answered the first time. No need!

This friend is a single mother, so I can understand the desire for more frequent adult conversation. However, I sure don't want to talk to anyone after being at work all day. She knows my work schedule. She'll call when I just sit down to begin to eat my lunch. She'll call right when I clock out for the day. In her mind, I'm guessing it makes sense to call me when I'm finally available. In reality, she calls me when I'm finally able to have a quiet moment, eat, or drive home, check the mail, change my clothes and collect my thoughts. My husband too will be coming home shortly after me. He is the one deserving of my attention at that point.

No other friend calls me this frequently; one calls me about once a week, and others about every other week at most. For this one frequent caller, I answer perhaps one out of every five calls. You'd think that would send a message! Pun intended. I do enjoy our conversations, though they can be draining at times. Her weakness has always been truly listening to the other person, whether it's me or someone else. But when it's good, it's great. The main trouble is the frequency and timing. I could deal with her interesting (if rather one-sided) conversation every now and then, but every day? I cannot.

Again, the rant... She just calls to talk! Nearly every day! It's none of it urgent! If I answer, I just hear "Hey," on the other end. (Likewise, after I answer one of her texted questions, she often sends a text stating, "Oh." I continue to be flabbergasted by that one.) We aren't in high school anymore. I don't ever remember my mother nor any other grown woman in my family taking or making calls in that manner, for no real reason.

I guess my ultimate point is, adults should be considerate of the lives of others. And phone calls "just to talk " should be few and far between. Save those calls for your mother or your sister, or a dear aunt, or for someone you haven't spoken to in a very long time. Take clues from your most recent communication with someone. Say someone sends a text mentioning that they have company; don't call them an hour later! If you notice a pattern, say someone doesn't answer whenever you call between certain hours, perhaps it would be wise to call at a different time of day. Don't risk being a nuisance and endangering a friendship. I haven't figured out how to tell my friend that this is bothering me. I sometimes feel that it would be unkind of me, and it's better to simply take a deep breath when the ill-timed calls come in, and just answer when I can. She seems to be satisfied thus. I don't want to end our friendship, but it certainly makes me less desiring of her company; I believe it is damaging our relationship on some level.


Respect your friends' time and schedules, use common sense and common courtesy. And for heaven's sake, don't be an adult adolescent, calling just because you can. There are so many valuable ways of using your time and energy, for the glory of God and the good of our hearts, community and families. And for the good of friendships.