I'm feeling a bit ranty... Probably neither ladylike nor gentle, but here it is: I appreciate friends, but I don't appreciate a friend's constant calling on the phone. By constant, I mean by the standard of this day and age. Nearly every day, sometimes twice in a day, if I haven't answered the first time. No need!
This friend is a single mother, so I can understand the desire for more frequent adult conversation. However, I sure don't want to talk to anyone after being at work all day. She knows my work schedule. She'll call when I just sit down to begin to eat my lunch. She'll call right when I clock out for the day. In her mind, I'm guessing it makes sense to call me when I'm finally available. In reality, she calls me when I'm finally able to have a quiet moment, eat, or drive home, check the mail, change my clothes and collect my thoughts. My husband too will be coming home shortly after me. He is the one deserving of my attention at that point.
No other friend calls me this frequently; one calls me about once a week, and others about every other week at most. For this one frequent caller, I answer perhaps one out of every five calls. You'd think that would send a message! Pun intended. I do enjoy our conversations, though they can be draining at times. Her weakness has always been truly listening to the other person, whether it's me or someone else. But when it's good, it's great. The main trouble is the frequency and timing. I could deal with her interesting (if rather one-sided) conversation every now and then, but every day? I cannot.
Again, the rant... She just calls to talk! Nearly every day! It's none of it urgent! If I answer, I just hear "Hey," on the other end. (Likewise, after I answer one of her texted questions, she often sends a text stating, "Oh." I continue to be flabbergasted by that one.) We aren't in high school anymore. I don't ever remember my mother nor any other grown woman in my family taking or making calls in that manner, for no real reason.
I guess my ultimate point is, adults should be considerate of the lives of others. And phone calls "just to talk " should be few and far between. Save those calls for your mother or your sister, or a dear aunt, or for someone you haven't spoken to in a very long time. Take clues from your most recent communication with someone. Say someone sends a text mentioning that they have company; don't call them an hour later! If you notice a pattern, say someone doesn't answer whenever you call between certain hours, perhaps it would be wise to call at a different time of day. Don't risk being a nuisance and endangering a friendship. I haven't figured out how to tell my friend that this is bothering me. I sometimes feel that it would be unkind of me, and it's better to simply take a deep breath when the ill-timed calls come in, and just answer when I can. She seems to be satisfied thus. I don't want to end our friendship, but it certainly makes me less desiring of her company; I believe it is damaging our relationship on some level.
Respect your friends' time and schedules, use common sense and common courtesy. And for heaven's sake, don't be an adult adolescent, calling just because you can. There are so many valuable ways of using your time and energy, for the glory of God and the good of our hearts, community and families. And for the good of friendships.
No comments:
Post a Comment