My prayer for rain has not yet been answered; there's not a cloud in the sky. I won't give up, though, because we desperately need it. Today will be a quiet day, just laundry to be done. A rather large load, to be exact, but only one. I also need to walk to the store for a few things. But I just wanted to quickly write about what a good morning it is, having beaten my sleeping-in demons.
Every night for the past few weeks I've been telling myself, "you have to get up earlier. You have to get up earlier." Finally, after all this time, I have done it. Laying in bed until ten o'clock doesn't solve my problems. It makes me feel more depressed in the long run and limits the amount of time I have to do things before my husband comes home, so I end up rushing through them at the last minute. It takes me a couple hours to really get going.
I wasn't always like this. In fact, up until this year, I rarely slept past 8:30. I would "get depressed" if I stayed in bed longer than that. These days, I don't actually sleep until ten. I just lay there like a bum. I usually wake up between 7:30 and 8:00, and then lay there for two hours. I have major depression, and the morning is when I feel it the most. I have flip-flopped. I used to be a morning person, and now I am a night owl. I feel most awake and alive at night.
I used to have intolerable insomnia, and staying in bed late would exacerbate it. Now, my insomnia is basically gone, but my energy level in the morning is lower. It doesn't really make any sense, because I'm getting enough sleep. I suppose it won't do to over-analyze things. I should just be grateful that I'm sleeping well for the first time in many years.
With that gratitude, I wish you all a good morning and a blessed day.
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