Shame can be a good thing

I recently attended an Intensive Outpatient Program as a part of my hospital discharge plan for treatment. One session focused on shame. The handout read thusly: "Shame is a basic feeling of inferiority. Shame involves the perception of oneself as a failure or feeling unacceptable to others."

I immediately tuned out. I was terribly annoyed. I grew up instinctively knowing that shame is what you feel when you recognize your sinfulness and depravity. To "be ashamed" was to be convicted of wrongdoing and desire to repent and reform. The phrase "shame on you" was a godly reproach, always right on target.

I have since learned that in the world's culture, shame is to be avoided at all costs, and those who inflict "shame" are in turn shamed by popular media. We now have "fat shaming," "slut shaming," and all kinds of "__ shaming" that are then turned on their heads to glorify the very thing the person should be ashamed of. Gluttony and sloth, lust and immodesty, vaingloriousness, what have you.

No one today is encouraged to "be ashamed of yourself" in the decent way. Decency itself is practically nonexistent. We all know this to be true. The act of "Shaming" has replaced the true feeling of shame. Shame and shaming have been turned into a taboo, instead of a spiritual inclination toward repentance, a holy embarrassment.

Here is my favorite Scripture verse that proves the value of shame: "In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;"   -1 Timothy 2:9

Shamefacedness means to be reverent, quick to be embarrased by any vulgarity or immodesty, to countenance oneself with a sort of bashful modesty. It doesn't mean to devalue oneself.

When Adam and Eve were first formed, they were naked and yet not ashamed. Later, after their sin, they realized they were naked and made clothes for themselves. Sin had led them to shame. Shame led them to cover themselves. They saw their sinfulness for what it was.

Nowadays, shame is turned upside down to glorify the self. Don't be ashamed to expose your nakedness! Don't be ashamed to use profanity! Express yourself! It was good when Adam and Eve were first unashamed, because they had done no wrong. We, however, are not in that innocent state and therefore must put shame to good use.

**I am not referring to the type of shame that comes upon one who has been abused, sexually or otherwise. That is a deep undeserved shame, not a result of the sin of the ashamed, and needs to be healed. I am only writing about the shame that develops in the conscience of one who has sinned. That is a necessary shame.