What's number one?

For all the grief I gave my sweet mom over the years for her imperfections, I am truly sorry. I have discovered that I have inherited her beginner level of housekeeping abilities, her simple desires, and her simple joys. She never complained or wanted much (that I didn’t inherit), and God bless her for it. I am learning to embrace my simplicity, whether it be in the caretaking of my home or in the ways I spend a free evening. I embrace it because I miss her, and I feel proud that she is a part of me in so many ways. This is just the latest, really. I have been noticing my mother from my inside out for awhile now. I think I’m actually a good mix of each of my parents; some parts of me which are more precise and painstaking are certainly from my dad. But the rainbows-and-unicorns part, which just wants everyone to get along and enjoy a simple laugh together, that’s my mom. Dad too was a peacemaker, but he didn’t do it in the same way as she did. Her way irked me, as it was thinly veiled, just shy of a retort. But I think that was her anxiety or low self esteem; she felt like she could not just ask for what she wanted, she had to couch it in something more aggressive for it to count. She couldn’t have been more wrong about that, but I find myself doing it too, by golly. I don’t have the same issues as my parents did, well… I don’t exactly have the same issues my parents did, but I use their techniques to deal with the issues I do have. Number one is the under-the-carpet sweeper. Absolutely. Nonconfrontational? That’s my favorite flavor of ice cream. Subpar housecleaner? Sure, that’s me. Do I think I could improve? Sure do. Am I going to bust my patootie over it? Nope indeed not. Anyway, when I get down on myself for the things I could do better, I stop and remember my mom. She was a Mary, not a Martha, and I think I try so hard to be Martha and lose my focus on what is the most important. For mom, it was Jesus. And other people. Dad too, that was his number one. Loving the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen, that’s the kind of person I want to be.