Gentleness

I have been motivated by the writing of Mrs. White of the blog, The Legacy of Home. She is a traditional homemaker of the type that I want to be. She has often written about gentleness, especially regarding the “gentle art of homemaking.” In an attempt to settle my worried spirit, I gave my best effort toward gentleness in my work at home today.  

What a difference it made. I am much calmer than usual. As I worked, I felt my old pattern of rushed, tense posture and movement overtaking me, but the remedy was simply to think to myself, “gentleness.” It worked every time to soothe the agitation. And you know what? Four out of my five homemaking goals for the day are completed, done in two hours. What good did all that frantic rushing around do before? None.

I have also accomplished some other things not on my list, as well as some essential non-homemaking things, such as physical therapy exercises. Through it all, even opening some potentially alarming mail, I breathed the word “gentleness,” and tossed up a prayer for help in achieving that. Deep breathing is something prescribed by my physical therapist, who noted my habit of tension and stress. I have attempted it for days and days, often successful, but many times forgetting. The simplicity of mindful gentleness, with Jesus in sight, is the key.

Though the countdown to the end of my days at home is ticking menacingly in the back of my consciousness, keeping gentleness has helped me focus on the moment at hand. Taking one’s time with each task is so healthy, and it allows for the task to be done to its fullness, and aspects previously unnoticed suddenly make themselves apparent. New ideas have room to float to the surface. This happened today as I did some rearranging and problem-solving in the closet and kitchen. Living in such a tight space as we have, I have been frustrated at my failed attempts to create efficiency out of inconvenience. Today, with a “quiet and gentle spirit,” I made steps toward that goal.

Many misunderstand the verse where that phrase is found, 1 Peter 3: 3-4 which reads,

3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. (NIV)

Some may think that St. Peter is teaching women to be silent, frumpy doormats. That interpretation is wrong. I never believed that, yet I had a murky understanding of what it means to have a “gentle and quiet spirit.” Yes, it means being “quiet,” and “gentle.” But focus on the word “spirit.” St. Peter didn’t say “quiet mouth,”  or “gentle feet.” Spirit is inside of us, assisting us in our hearts and minds, and showing itself outwardly through our behavior toward others. We receive this beauty from the Holy Spirit.

We are to be settled, calm, gentle and quiet inside, so that we are not stressed, harsh, brash or thoughtless on the outside. This is specifically taught to women, because we are the ones entrusted with the care of people. We are the primary nurturers of children, homes, communities, our husbands and aged relatives. I’ve come to realize that we will have greater strength for these tasks of caretaking if we maintain that gentle and quiet spirit. This is the special power of gentleness, and I thank God that I could experience it at last. Gentleness is truly a gift that He has given me today, despite (or likely because of) my proclivity toward the opposite.  It’s not easy to keep, but with God, all things are possible.