Bored and offended

I am not touching on the subject of gentleness today. Rather, I’m inspired to explore some things that cause me to lose my gentle, sweet or quiet “cool.” Bear with me.

I have a friend who has, on more than one occasion, sent me a text during the workday to tell me she is bored. My initial reaction is usually, “Are you kidding me?!” because I have received those texts while doing something like wiping a screaming twelve-year-old’s behind or deflecting an eighteen-year-old kid’s fist. *I do check any and all texts at work because that is how most communication happens "on the floor." It could be a matter of life or death. Not kidding.*

My second typical reaction to my friend’s boredom is, “Are you kidding me?!” This in the sense of, “We are grown adults. Boredom is for eight-year-olds.” This woman is a mother of two with a full-time social service job. How in the name of Pete is she bored? I sought Google’s advice on the subject of bored adults, and lo and behold, most of the results had to do with helping children overcome boredom. Why? Because adults have no business whining that they are bored. I stick to this conviction whether I am working my frenetic, dangerous job or whether I am home, doing my much preferred job of homemaking. No boredom allowed past the age of twelve. In a perfect world, I’d say, “ever.”

In my internet quest to find support for my opinions on boredom, I came across this, which highlights a related and equally irritating pet peeve of mine: http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/09/16/sorry-but-its-your-fault-if-your-offended-all-the-time/

I don’t agree with everything Matt Walsh has written, but I do agree with much of it, and this one for sure. One acquaintance of mine called people who are constantly offended, “injustice collectors.” Matt Walsh’s post gives the impression that it’s a societal epidemic, which I am inclined to say is true. I have another friend who was once my housemate and is the very person to whom that witty acquaintance was referring. This friend, as yet another mutual acquaintance once quipped, “will complain till the cows come home.” It’s true that she’ll complain and complain ad nauseam, but to put the two together- constant complaining and constant offense-taking, is a surefire way to lose friends. She hasn’t “lost” my friendship, but I have desired to distance myself from her to a large degree. Her “injustice-collecting” was a big factor in my leaving the house we shared. She comes from a position of privilege; she has more to lean on in this world than I ever did. She is able to live with her parents until she can find another place. Yet she has found a hundred and one reasons to play the victim over the years, and take offense to the slightest things. My own parents were nearly penniless and both chronically ill for much of my life, and had little materially to give me. It has taken so much effort to bite my lip around this person.

I will leave the in-depth analysis of these subjects to people like Matt Walsh. I can conclude that I don’t have much patience for bored, offended, whiny adults. I love them, and by and large I’m still friends with a few of them, but I won’t tolerate that kind of shortsightedness. We are so. darn. privileged in this country. Especially those of us who are white. Like myself and these two particular friends.  Last night I watched a video of Jack Black’s experience in Uganda with a homeless boy. The boy is alone and lives in a garbage dump. What he says he wants is an education. I imagine he also wants a family, a home and some clean food.

So friends, don’t complain that you’re bored or victimized, or offended by some trifle. Use your energy to improve yourself and maybe to help someone else who is less fortunate than yourself.