Ugliness

There is a rant bubbling up inside me, it's been stewing for some days now. There are a few components to it, I'm not quite sure where to start. I haven't spent the time to organize it. Sound. Noise. I think I've had it with ugly, intrusive sounds. I'm reading a book called One Square Inch of Silence, about an acoustic ecologist's continual search for natural silence. I think that even before I began the book, my tolerance for noise was waning, and the author's love of quiet and natural sound gave a voice to what I've been feeling. I don't like the fact that we live sandwiched between an airport and a busy thoroughfare (carrying big rigs and Harleys, mostly), and five railroad tracks separate us from the rest of town. Noise, noise, noise. There are chickens in my backyard and lots of songbirds in the area, but I can't appreciate the sounds they make because of the constant rumbling of trucks and whirring of planes, literally every few seconds. We live in a motorhome, not a regular house, so there isn't much insulation to damp the noise.

But there's more to my complaint than just noise. Ugly speech has gotten to me as well. I have had it up to HERE with vulgarity. Had it. The American speechscape is littered with nasty, disrespectful and infantile jabs, like poison darts to my soul. I can't escape it. What is wrong with everyone? When did society decide not to grow up and grow out of adolescent profanity? There is no respect for the ears of little children, or of respectable people within earshot. It's all over the televisions, radios, on computers, on trains and buses, and on the street. No one is being told it's wrong, or rude, or unacceptable. And it's not just four-letter words, but other nastiness. I was horrified to be stuck on a bus overhearing a man loudly describe his various methods of penetrating a woman's body. Another time, also on a bus, a young woman declared loudly as she boarded, "It smells like a gang of p*ss up in here!" I was mortified for the obviously homeless man sitting across from me, who was clearly the source of the stink. Just horrible and hateful.

There is an overload of ugliness in this society. Yesterday, while waiting for my husband to come out of the store, I observed several young women pedestrians. Every single one of them was wearing ugliness in some form, somehow considered fashionable: Ripped jeans, earwax-colored oversized sweaters, army green-drab jackets, shaved heads (really? My head was shaved once because of brain surgery. I would never do it for fun.), dyed-gray hair (a mockery of the Scripture that upholds gray hair as the crown of wisdom of the aged), combat boots. Worse still were the ugly expressions on their faces. Some looked angry, some looked vacuous, some looked jaded, none looked alive. All seemed spiritually dead. I'll also say that the men pedestrians were better dressed. Sad state of affairs.

Back to the ugliness of intrusive noise, I've lost patience too with noise-music. I don't care how old-fashioned that makes me sound. It's evil-sounding. Rap, pop, and that God-awful dubstep, just make me want to dive into the ocean. Pop music, while never very intelligent or inspired, used to be positive and uplifting, more or less. The last decade or so however has seen a drastic change, and it is abrasive and negative. More and more the lyrics talk about using other people, whether for sex, power, or convenience. I admit that while there are rap artists who have a positive message and avoid cursing, rap is still an ugly sound, and the majority of rap music is filled with profanity and negative imagery. 

I think that it is so disrespectful when people play their music loudly in public. It's juvenile and selfish. I don't care if it's Bach or Beethoven, it's not acceptable. Unfortunately, most people who blare their radios and mp3's aren't playing classical. Even cars with windows rolled up that are blasting noise are offensive, because the windows don't stop us from hearing it, plus we can hear the rattling of those windows too. I want to be able to hear my husband when he talks to me in the car, or hear a possible danger, such as another car coming too close. And I don't want to be subjected to garbage music. 

There are rhythms that inspire beauty, peace, order and love, and there are rhythms that incite anger, hatred, discord and impatience. I wonder why it is that people choose the latter. What is inside them that appreciates such ugliness? Or perhaps the question is what isn't inside them. Silence is necessary for the soul to breathe. It is necessary in order to experience God. As wonderful as classical music is, it's not right for me to listen to it constantly, without reprieve. Silence is healing, restorative, fulfilling and holy. People seem to be afraid of silence. Most everyone I see on the train is wearing earbuds. I realize that the sounds of the train aren't silence, but it's closer to it than music pumped directly into one's ears. Even the clothing people wear is screaming obscenities, through ugliness, logos, and immodesty.

So what does all this mean? It means souls are deadened, minds are clogged and bodies are improperly used. Everything needs to make a "statement." I've seen it in Target ads- a "statement necklace." The ripped-jean-and-ugly-sweater-wearing, green-haired girl with the permanent frown, oversized eyeglasses and "statement purse" has carefully tailored her look to say, "F- you, I am different and better than all of you because I hate loveliness. Loveliness is for the oppressed women of the past. I don't give a rat's behind what you think of me, as long as I think of myself as more enlightened than you." People of the past dressed in such a way as to show respect for themselves and for others. The current disease of selfishness and permissiveness has caused many to value rebellion and disrespect instead, marring the scenery with hateful expressions and ugly "statements" in the form of clothing and accessories.

There is healing to be found in harmonious speech, traditional dress, and real music. They can revive our hearts and smooth out the static of the constant barrage of ugly sounds and sights, already prevalent in an industrial society. And of course, a healthy dose of silence would allow us to heal in the deepest parts of ourselves. Learning to respect ourselves, nature and other people comes from contemplation, and you can't contemplate without quiet. You can't hear the voice of God without quiet. You can't take stock of yourself without quiet. And you can't appreciate the gift of life without a backdrop of serenity to properly frame it. We are living in a culture of death. I make it a goal to infuse my little corner of the world with life, in the way I dress, eat, speak (or don't speak) and move about. It's a small thing, but it's better than nothing.