Set Apart

In my rather old-fashioned line of thinking, pondering the way of life that God desires us to keep, I often think "big picture," meaning beyond and back. Beyond the near-sighted culture of my modern times. Back to the time of Christ and even further back to the lives of Old Testament prophets. There's been a niggling temptation in the back of my mind lately to feel insecure about my "lack" of a social life. I don't really feel a lack. I observe a pseudo-lack from the view of the secular world.  Then when I think about the women whom I wish to emulate- Our blessed mother Mary, St. Elizabeth, Mother Teresa, Abraham's wife Sarah- the mere idea of a "social life" is laughable and irrelevant.

I love to be home. I don't go out with coworkers for lunch. I don't go out at night with girl friends. We don't attend parties outside of family and the occasional friend's birthday. I am quite content with this.

I've always been a homebody, and always have been more comfortable around small groups. Most comfortable, for certain, with only one companion at a time. However I think for me there is a connection here to a deeper understanding of life, its meaning, and purpose. It's rooted in Scripture and in my experiences with the Lord. From the book of Titus, chapter 2: 
3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

11 For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. 12 It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, 13 while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, 14 who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.

I remember as a young girl feeling "set apart." In many circumstances, I was removed from my peers through no fault of my own, and usually felt some sort of relief. I nearly always felt the peace of God. I'm thinking here of a time when I was invited to a slumber party in fifth grade. My mother had already booked me to stay the night with a family friend's daughter who was much younger than I. Initially I was quite upset that my mother decided I should attend the slumber party until dinnertime and then leave to fulfill my obligation to the younger girl and stay the night with her instead of my classmates. Yet I distinctly remember the last half-hour of my stay at the party, listening to a CD that was quite vulgar and I was ashamed, uncomfortable. All my classmates were laughing. My mom came shortly after, and I felt so comforted once I arrived at the familiar home of my mother's friend. Sipping chocolate milk with her little daughter, I felt a wash of God's love and peace over me, and knew in my heart that it was better to be with them than at that party. That is just one example.

In college, my choir was invited to stay with the families of a choir in Costa Rica for two weeks. We were told to pair up with a roommate, and we'd be matched as a pair to a household. When we arrived in the city where we were to stay, and it was our turn, my chosen friend and I stepped forward, but only her name was called. We protested, but were told that there was a change of plans. She was to be paired with a different person and I was to go alone to another home. The head of that household turned out to be a Christian pastor. I learned later that all the other households had arranged for parties and evenings out for my choirmates. I alone was left out of that loop. Instead, I attended the daytime events, and at night went to church services or stayed home enjoying the company of my hosts. Again, I felt the hand of God, despite my complaints.

Now as an adult, I must treasure my past years of protection by God, and not let it be put to shame. I admit to partying (mostly in my own dorm at university), drinking, and being the adulteress "whose feet do not stay at home." (Proverbs 7:11) But I've put that behind me and have repented, seeking the sweet simplicity of my younger years, when I was set apart by God in purity and humility.

I don't desire a social life because I desire God's life for me. Even when my sinful nature derides me for being such a "loner," I must recall those sweet moments of God's guidance. St. Therese of Lisieux, after whom I was named, teaches us "the little way of childhood" as the way we should relate to our Father in Heaven. 

When the influences around me urge me to become brash, bold and "grown up" in the fashion of sophisticated career-oriented worldly women, I remember this: 

Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." - Mark 10:15.

I do not mean to say I don't enjoy the company of friends. I do. But it's not a goal of mine to seek socialization for its own sake. Rather, I seek God, and let the natural circumstances of life draw out the opportunities for fellowship. 

On the subject of Titus 2, one of my mentors called me today. She is a beautiful lady of God. I am blessed to have the friendship and guidance of a few older Christian women. Here is a post on one of my favorite blogs expounding on this subject: 
http://teachtheyoungerwomen.blogspot.com/2015/12/a-woman-of-discretion.html

I pray, someday, that I can be one of those women.